And now its time for a break down
This week I’m trying something a little different, instead of going on some
rant or telling you how awesome something is I’m just gonna write about what’s
on my mind.
So next weekend I’m heading back to my home town to go to a
baby dunking. Which normally I wouldn’t be caught dead at, I feel like if I stepped
foot in a church I might just burst into flames. But My father is going to be
the god father to this fat little nugget so I figure why not go home and see
everyone one. Which is happening less and less now that my family has moved to Wisconsin.
And I’m dreading it, not so much the reunion but the endless string of
questions.
“What are you gonna do when you graduate?”
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“Are you gonna quit smoking?”
“What are you doing with your life?”
But the truth is I’m a huge fucking mess. I have no idea
what I’m doing when I graduate. I have no idea what I want to do. I mean what
can you do with an English degree? My love of swearing and cigarettes means I can’t
nor do I want to be a teacher. And my love of tattoos, nail polish and skinny
jeans means I don’t belong in an office. All I really wanna do is write. Which to most people translates to work at starbucks
and write a novel that will go nowhere. So all I can say is I’m just gonna cry
over my bachelor’s degree.
I don’t have a boyfriend cause im crazy and can’t keep a
relationship going for more than a few months and I get that my sister just got
engaged. But back off I’m only twenty three and I’m going to die alone because
cats cat kiss you back. And for some reason crazy doesn’t attract the men.
To answer the question about smoking. NO.
What am I going to do with my life? Everything, write a few
bestsellers have my own talk show. Maybe open a bakery because let’s face it
the only things I’m good at are making cookies and being sarcastic. If I’m
being real I should have just went to beauty school. Hell maybe I’ll marry rich
and be a trophy wife. Who knows?
Now I’m writing this as a blog post because there is no way I
can say these things to my family and I need to just get it out there in the
world. So I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into my crazy.
I’m out. (Since 2004)
Maybe this doesn't mean much, but I appreciate your honesty and putting it all out there for the world to see. I have similar feelings regarding relationships, going home, and what on earth to do with an English degree and a bunch of tattoos and piercings. Open that bakery and maybe someday I'll stop by and work on my next flop novel (but mostly just gorge myself on cookies). Keep your head up!
ReplyDeleteJust like Ashley I love your frankness. I've struggled with some of the same things like finding a career which is especially a struggle for writing majors. But we shall overcome ! lol hopefully...eventually. Maybe?
ReplyDeleteI love how blunt you are about the topics you write about, you really know how to engage your audience. I have another two semester left but still find myself getting really pissed off when I go back to my home town and constantly get asked "If I know what I am doing with my life yet." Unlike you, I kind of want to teach, but that's not as easy as walking into a college and asking for a job. If I could actually make a living on writing a book and opening up a coffee shop that sells delicious pastries, I would, because let's be honest, what's better than carb-loaded pastries, unlimited coffee, and potentially, maybe, hopefully, a best seller?
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