I think it's time we all share ourselves

Everyone once and a while NPR puts on this thing they call The Moth. It's this event where they invite people to come read something they have written and or share a story of theirs. I think its amazing, I discovered this during another class when we could review a few stories and get extra credit. I then fell in love and downloaded all the videos I could. For this blog I watched  Nancy Finton's story "I Never Saw His Face" which i found to be amazingly powerful. She tells the dark story of her almost rape and lightens the mood with some dark humor.)
One of the reasons I love The Moth is because it exposes me to all sorts of writers and story tellers that i never would have heard of if it hadn't been for the Moth. Not only does it expose all sorts of writers but it lets you hear the story in their voice, it lets you feel the emotion. It puts a face, an expression, a person to the words. It turns a story into a life experience and I think that is amazing.


)
In case that  first story was a little dark here is the first story I ever witnessed by the Moth and it is much happier. I hope you enjoy!

Because I'm a Huge Fucking mess

And now its time for a break down

This week I’m trying something  a little different, instead of going on some rant or telling you how awesome something is I’m just gonna write about what’s on my mind.

So next weekend I’m heading back to my home town to go to a baby dunking. Which normally I wouldn’t be caught dead at, I feel like if I stepped foot in a church I might just burst into flames. But My father is going to be the god father to this fat little nugget so I figure why not go home and see everyone one. Which is happening less and less now that my family has moved to Wisconsin. And I’m dreading it, not so much the reunion but the endless string of questions.

“What are you gonna do when you graduate?”

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Are you gonna quit smoking?”

“What are you doing with your life?”

But the truth is I’m a huge fucking mess. I have no idea what I’m doing when I graduate. I have no idea what I want to do. I mean what can you do with an English degree? My love of swearing and cigarettes means I can’t nor do I want to be a teacher. And my love of tattoos, nail polish and skinny jeans means I don’t belong in an office. All I really wanna do is write. Which to  most people translates to work at starbucks and write a novel that will go nowhere. So all I can say is I’m just gonna cry over my bachelor’s degree.

 

I don’t have a boyfriend cause im crazy and can’t keep a relationship going for more than a few months and I get that my sister just got engaged. But back off I’m only twenty three and I’m going to die alone because cats cat kiss you back. And for some reason crazy doesn’t attract the men.

 

To answer the question about smoking. NO.

What am I going to do with my life? Everything, write a few bestsellers have my own talk show. Maybe open a bakery because let’s face it the only things I’m good at are making cookies and being sarcastic. If I’m being real I should have just went to beauty school. Hell maybe I’ll marry rich and be a trophy wife. Who knows?

Now I’m writing this as a blog post because there is no way I can say these things to my family and I need to just get it out there in the world. So I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into my crazy.

I’m out. (Since 2004)

I got a big ego, Such a huge ego...

In case you wanted to know, I shower a lot, like a lot a lot. Two or three times a day is a slow day. So when one showers as much as I do, they tend to get a lot of different bathing products. So the other day I was in the store trying to get some body wash and I looked up and noticed the body wash Dove for Men, which as it turns out is the same thing as regular Dove only it’s in a grey bottle and is like a dollar more.

Then I moved on to look a razors cause you know people shave. All of the men’s razors were blue or black and called like xtream or intense. While the razors made for women are all pink and yellow and had names like flowers. When in reality they are the same thing. Why is it that men will only buy something if it literally says for men on it? How fragile is your ego?

My biggest concern was deodorant. Everyone uses it except for the French. When looking at the deodorant, the men’s brands all had very interesting names like Swagger, which I imagine smells like balls and your parent’s disappointment. Some of the other names are things like essence, intense and dark. I don’t understand why they just can’t be called what they smell like. Then they would be called things like, locker room, sweaty socks and hormonal teenager. On the other hand the women’s deodorant has names like Paris, which yes does smell like wine and prostitutes. But the other names are just what they smell like, which makes more sense.

So I decided to go ahead and buy women’s deodorant and try it out, and maybe I just wanted to smell like cucumbers and green tea. This is really nothing new to me, I buy women’s fragrances all the time because sometimes I wanna smell like a pineapple because pineapples are fucking amazing.

After using the “woman's” deodorant I have concluded that it is in fact better because I no longer smell like a locker room. And it also works better at preventing sweat. But I still don’t understand why we need to make things have genders, if I wanna smell like a pineapple I will and if you wanna smell like swagger then more power to you. Why the fuck do we have to make things like that separate. Regardless of your gender when you buy a razor you just want it to remove hair and when you buy body wash or perfume or deodorant you just want to smell good, and what genitals you have doesn't change the way things smell

So I say fuck it, go buy what you want. Smell how you want. Fuck gender roles, the only rolls I support are cinnamon.